I am a big proponent of “say what you mean” in clear simple language, so I was kind of embarrassed in a meeting today when I was asked to explain a bullet point in a presentation we were developing for a client.
The bullet I had written said:
“Our campaign will contextualize product offerings, demonstrating value.”
The client immediately asked:
“Could you explain that bullet point?”
My response was something along the lines of, “Well, what it means is that the site will clearly explain how your products offer value. We’ve noticed that the language on your competitors’ websites tends to be jargon-y, vague and difficult to understand. They use phrases like ‘creating a new commercial model’ and ‘maximizing brand potential.’ We will use more straightforward language with examples that clearly demonstrate what we mean.”
The client replied:
“Well, perhaps the bullet should say that instead of, ‘contextualize product offerings.’ “
:”>
(that’s blushing for the “emoticonially” challenged)
Tags: clear writing, copywriting, writing clearly
